remember your parents

i watched one of my patients die yesterday at clinical. I know that he is in a better place with his wife. but it got me thinking. I got to sit with him while he died and took his last breath, and declare the time of death, because his family didn't show up. The nursing staff said that they did not see his family or friends come visit him one time while he was in the nursing home. and that made me sad.
I hope that when i get older and my parents are "geriatric" patients, i will have the dignity to give back to them what they gave to me. The nursing home... has no dignity or privacy, it is humiliating. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And i hope that at all costs if i have to put my parents in a nursing home.... for the very very very most desperate reasons, that i would come and visit them. They take their whole life to take care of you. I hope that i remember this when i get older. Because that is what made me sad about seeing him die, it wasn't that he was dying because i know that is a happy thing, is was that his existence was so pathetic the last few months of his life. And he was such a sweet guy, he would just take your hand and smile at you, because he couldn't really hear.

also, it made me remember that life is short. on wednesday, he was up in a wheel chair and fine, and the next day he couldn't breath.

I am thankful that i had that experience, it was a really sweet experience.